Rules for Surviving a Zombie Attack

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Re: Rules for Surviving a Zombie Attack

Postby Brewski on Fri Oct 09, 2009 1:27 am

47 If you Think you heard a noise, you better believe it.... BECAUSE YOU HEARD A NOISE!!!!!!!!

48 Carry stain remover...Bloods a bitch to get out.
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Re: Rules for Surviving a Zombie Attack

Postby charliefan4life on Mon Nov 02, 2009 6:06 am

48. Tap Twice (in other words-make sure they're dead-really dead)
49. Limber up
50. Always carry a supply of Twinkies

(Yes, I just saw Zombieland :P)
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Re: Rules for Surviving a Zombie Attack

Postby PCat on Mon Nov 02, 2009 6:57 am

Jeepy wrote:
NotInOxford wrote:Who says zombies can't swim?

Duh. Zombies aren't waterproof :roll:


I don't know where you're getting your information, but zombies can most certainly swim!!

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The good news is the water slows them down and their oozing flesh attracts fish - so bring your tackle box!! (sushi anyone???)
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Re: Rules for Surviving a Zombie Attack

Postby zeek on Mon Nov 02, 2009 9:43 am

51. They're not vampires. Put down the stake, idiot!
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Re: Rules for Surviving a Zombie Attack

Postby PCat on Mon Nov 02, 2009 3:42 pm

52. Don't bother trying to escape from a zombie by getting him drunk. You'll waste perfectly good liquor, and when he starts to sing Karaoke you'll wish YOU were dead!
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Re: Rules for Surviving a Zombie Attack

Postby Jeepy on Mon Nov 02, 2009 3:48 pm

PCat wrote:52. Don't bother trying to escape from PCat by getting her drunk.

I have fixed that quote for you now :D

53. Anyone who suggests barricading yourselves in is either
A. stupid

or

B. Already a zombie.
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Re: Rules for Surviving a Zombie Attack

Postby PCat on Tue Nov 03, 2009 7:00 am

Jeepy wrote:
PCat wrote:52. Don't bother trying to escape from PCat by getting her drunk.

I have fixed that quote for you now :D
Many have tried. Even more have failed ;)

54. In the event of a zombie attack be sure to shoot the annoying neighbors barking dog first. Even if it doesn't make a bit of difference during the attack, if you survive you'll have a better chance of getting a good nights sleep in the future. :gun:
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Re: Rules for Surviving a Zombie Attack

Postby Brewski on Tue Nov 03, 2009 7:28 pm

55. A Good Excuse
Following on from Pcats rule number 54. In the event of a zombie attack , shoot anyone you dislike even if their not infected yet. Its always a good excuse to fall back on that you thought they were bit. If someone questions your sanity , shoot that person too. :thumbup:
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Re: Rules for Surviving a Zombie Attack

Postby PCat on Tue Nov 03, 2009 7:45 pm

Brewski wrote:55. A Good Excuse
Following on from Pcats rule number 54. In the event of a zombie attack , shoot anyone you dislike even if their not infected yet. Its always a good excuse to fall back on that you thought they were bit. If someone questions your sanity , shoot that person too. :thumbup:


I like the way you think, Brewski!! Come to think of it, a zombie attack could solve a lot of problems if you have enough ammunition stock piled and you manage to live through it!!
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Re: Rules for Surviving a Zombie Attack

Postby Jeepy on Tue Nov 03, 2009 7:59 pm

You two should open a Getting away with murder thread! :lol:
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Re: Rules for Surviving a Zombie Attack

Postby PCat on Wed Nov 04, 2009 6:22 am

Jeepy wrote:You two should open a Getting away with murder thread! :lol:

Better yet, how about a zombie resistance cell called The 100 Proof Justifiable Homicide Squad. (We will meet in a pub). You in Brewski?? :guns:
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Re: Rules for Surviving a Zombie Attack

Postby Jeepy on Wed Nov 04, 2009 10:27 am

Don't do it Brewski! She'll slit your throat for your loose change! :scared:
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Re: Rules for Surviving a Zombie Attack

Postby Brewski on Wed Nov 04, 2009 2:58 pm

Most definately!!!!!
In the event i get infected i'd like her to slit my throat rather than run rampant like a brainless zombie jeepy ! :P

The first meeting of the 100 Proof Justifiable Homicide Squad shall commence every thursdays in our local pub. Thursdays are table quiz night and we have a good chance of winning the prize of a free round a drinks, seeing as we'd be the only ones with guns ! :gun:. New members are welcome but they have to prove their might in a drink-off contest against both me and PCat, STV's Awesome Resistance Soldiers (S.A.R.S for short) :cool:
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Re: Rules for Surviving a Zombie Attack

Postby Jeepy on Wed Nov 04, 2009 3:05 pm

Brewski wrote:Most definately!!!!!
In the event i get infected i'd like her to slit my throat rather than run rampant like a brainless zombie jeepy ! :P
Just to clarify, are you calling me a brainless zombie? :O :lol:

Brewski wrote: New members are welcome but they have to prove their might in a drink-off contest against both me and PCat

Seriously, the entry criteria is too hard. It'll be just the two of you and loads of tryouts in comas.
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Re: Rules for Surviving a Zombie Attack

Postby Brewski on Wed Nov 04, 2009 6:26 pm

Jeepy wrote:
Brewski wrote:Most definately!!!!!
In the event i get infected i'd like her to slit my throat rather than run rampant like a brainless zombie jeepy ! :P
Just to clarify, are you calling me a brainless zombie? :O :lol:


Lol !! whoops i left out the essential "," mark before "jeepy" :P . ALLLLTHOUGH, how do we know your NOT a super-zombie with computer operational skills ! :O You could be plotting to overthrow mankind as we speak. But i could also be dillusional because i havent had a beer :wub:

Jeepy wrote:
Brewski wrote: New members are welcome but they have to prove their might in a drink-off contest against both me and PCat

Seriously, the entry criteria is too hard. It'll be just the two of you and loads of tryouts in comas.

Thats true, and then really, we'd be making our own army of drunks to attack all the zombies. Oh bliss !!

Rule 56Make sure you stock up

In the event of a zombie outbreak your gonna need to prioritise. This involves saving what you love and sacrificing what you can live without.
The loved ones list.
1. Plenty of beer.
2. A hipflask for long excursions into the unknown
3. A shotgun, with plenty of ammunition.
4. A map to find your way as you may be lacking your sense of direction thanks to Priority 1 and 2.
5. A hot dog with extra mustard, the mustard is hardcore and goes down well after the beer. The hot dog bun itself provides extra soakage for Priority 6.
6. More beer, you may end you sobering up and inevitably realising its a post-apocolyptic zombie wasteland your in, and you dont want to do that.
7.A flashlight and batteries. More beer.
8. Music to party to!! :afro:

After you have checked all this it is time to move onto what you can leave behind.
The sacrificial list.
1. Loved ones :whistle: , they'll say things like "Im not infected , its just a scratch, dont kill me i love you!!!!" and their personal favorite "i think the coast is clear lets go". Run away from them or throw them infront of oncoming zombies if you must, "Oh yeah the coast Is clear, you go first!"
2. The designated driver. He can come now i got him drunk, his name is Steve!!
3. Leave behind your flashlight and batteries if you need to make room for more beer.
4. Also leaving behind anything else which may over-encumber you such as pants. You can run faster from zombies when your not wearing pants.

With rule 56 you too can a naked fun time in a post apocolypic zombie wasteland. :thumbup:
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